He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
