I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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