Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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