we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
