I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
