im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
