apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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