Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
