he shaved USA in his pubs
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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