Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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