I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
