who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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