I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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