cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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