I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
