Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
