I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
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