Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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