My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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