oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
