Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
