I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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