No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
