Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
She is in my trunk
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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