i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
