At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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