So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
