OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
