Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
