for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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