38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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