so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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