I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
