I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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