There is no way he is gay with that hair.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
