Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize