The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
