shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
