do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
