normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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