My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
