So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
