We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
