so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Do vagina's smell?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
