spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize