when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
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