if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
