i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
