You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
