That's intense
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize