I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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