I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Never let your siblings swipe right.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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