I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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