On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
