I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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