cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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