Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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