remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
