Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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