Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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