Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
