So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
