This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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