..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
