I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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