his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I need mimosas to revive my soul
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
