You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
