I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
