were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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