those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am midnight drunk by noon
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize