Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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