Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
